bright desserts, dark moods

i have my first performance review tomorrow. i have no reason to be nervous, but i am. maybe i can get some work-from-home flexibility (since everyone is appalled at the length of my commute) or something like that. at the very least i should be able to get more money. it's at 2, so i won't be able to go to pilates tomorrow. bummer. but maybe this will have a similar mood-brightening effect. i'm still terrified. i have a complex.

in other news, well, there isn't much other news. cooking is pretty much the only thing that is even remotely exciting in my life. i made more crepes tonight. they're actually really, really fun to make! plus they're delicious. and easy. and everything else good you could say about them, really. i had to buy chickpea flour to make this particular recipe, but there are plenty of recipes out there for normal people who like to use eggs and dairy. you fry up some crepes, refrigerate them, and when you're ready to eat them, just sautee up your filling (corey likes to broil some chicken and add it to the veggies i make), pour on some sauce, and eat! you can pretty much use the same recipe for sweet crepes or breakfast crepes or blintzes etc. etc.

i can't believe summer is almost over! i celebrated it tonight with a very summery dessert - the much-hyped pound cake.

yet another better-than-terrible food photo. i sliced strawberries and smothered the whole thing with vanilla soy yogurt, which is one of the best things ever.

so i've basically been sad all the time, unmotivated, and extremely irritable for several weeks. i hope the doctor on wednesday can help me. i cry at least once a day for no apparent reason, i feel guilty for everything i've ever done in my life, and i feel worthless, lonely, and no good at anything. never mind the fact that logical evaluation will prove all these things unfounded - it's just how i feel. and it is truly lame. i'd rather not take pills, so i hope he can set me up with a decent therapist who's on my insurance. i'm sick of it, and i'm sure corey is, too. poor thing. he is an excellent guy to put up with me!

saturday is a birthday party with kickball and very likely beer. i've volunteered to make cupcakes. after proposing many flavors to the birthday folks, we've decided on strawberry-filled strawberry, lemon-filled poppyseed, and chocolate (for the less adventurous eaters). i love cupcakes. they're like little gems of confectionery bliss wrapped in an adorable package. i should make them more often. and perhaps i shall.

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