cookie face-off

pumpkin oatmeal vs. pfeffernusse:

it's a tie! i think the pumpkin would have won just because i love anything pumpkin-flavored, but it didn't come through enough. it also had raisins and walnuts, so they definitely complicated things. the pfeffernusse is a traditional german holiday cookie that's kind of gingersnap meets mexican wedding cake meets black licorice. i'd never made them before, but i took it to a cookie-baking swap party, and they were pretty good. i got a TON of cookies to take back - i would go into a diabetic coma if i tried to eat all those myself. the hostess of this party had fresh, mulled apple cider, and it was delicious.

last night, i went to a potluck. i made sweet potato-black bean enchiladas, which, of course, were a hit. i forgot to take a picture, though. we played some improvisation games afterward, which was hard for me, but i think i did a pretty good job. there is an improv class my friend attends that i'm thinking about. it seems like it would help me with my fear of people. i doubt it will do anything to alleviate my fear of coleslaw, though.

friday night, i went to a "punk rock winter formal" with m:

sorry, this was the punkiest i could look. my pink-hair days are long gone.

the vandals (my favorite) were the featured band at this event, but they played mostly songs off their xmas album. they're still funny, but i wanted to hear more "secular" selections.

so i've been busy since c has been in missouri.

i had my first colonic wednesday. sure, it's a bit uncomfortable and weird, but you feel like a million bucks afterward. really. i felt like i had lost twenty pounds and was walking on air. i felt like i was all up in the ether, or something. i'm getting another. i might even get a series.

i tried to juice fast last week but screwed up every night by eating dinner. something about the sun going down made me need food even after not being too hungry all day. i don't think i was drinking enough juice, honestly. i am still juicing practically every night before bed. i am going to try again after the holidays. c and i were trying to juice some grapefruits, but we didn't know that the peel is toxic for some people. so we were juicing the whole thing (peel included) like we do with lemons, and we felt soooooo sick afterward! i made the mistake of doing it twice just in case the grapefruits we tried had gone bad or something! major nausea. i threw out all the rest of the grapefruits, thinking that maybe we got a bad batch. but then i did an internet search and learned that the rind is toxic. oops.

my sleep is better some nights, the same old on others. i feel like it is getting better overall and didn't expect 100-percent improvement overnight. everyone is telling me to eat meat since i was sleeping at least on my candida diet, but i don't want to! i already tried it and hated it. yes, i slept on that diet, but it could have been the entire lack of sugar or just the lack of things that gave me any energy. i feel it would compromise all the work i do trying to track my food intake and balance my diet optimally because optimal, to me, does not mean any kind of animal products. i know i am getting all the vitamins, minerals, and macronutrients i am supposed to be getting, so i am not convinced that eating meat is going to supply me with anything i'm not already getting to help me sleep. plus there are plenty of vegetarians who don't have insomnia and insomniacs who aren't vegetarians.
all that being said, c is worried about me and really wants me to try it, so i think i will for him. i will try eating an egg tonight. i don't want to do it every day; maybe i could get away with once a month or every couple of weeks? i suppose i would start off strong and decrease it over time if i want. hopefully this will be better as i am not removing any food i was eating, just adding a protein. another thing i just thought of is i mostly stopped eating tofu when this started, so maybe i should eat some tempeh (which is healthier than tofu since it's fermented, apparently). tonight, though, i will see if i can stomach an egg - the thought nauseates me. but i'd rather eat an egg or a piece of fish than drink a glass of milk.

i'm going back to indiana tuesday.

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