12.31.2009

I won't be seeing you, 2009.

Hello. I haven't posted in months. Sorry about all that. I got busy, my life turned upside-down, and I lost motivation. Yet I have been thinking about you, anyone who likes to read regular updates on what I'm up to. So it's back to it.
The last day of 2009 seemed a good day to write a goodbye letter to this year.

-

Dear 2009,
As perfect as we were, we both knew all along that it couldn't last. Our relationship started out so beautiful, virginal, and pure that I couldn't fathom anything soiling its immaculate surface. You lured me in and made me fall in love with you. We were lovely together.

When you rewarded me with a new job in June, I was ecstatic and trusted you would bring more goodness my way. I wasn't disappointed. You gave me a promotion, a move, an exciting new chapter in my personal life, a fabulous vacation, trips to see friends and family, a new president, loads of new music, somewhat promising social progress, and a sunrise every day. I am so grateful.

But you also proved difficult. You pelted me with obstacles and setbacks, and I could do nothing but accept. You brought a few sad endings for me. You made me see myself and my flaws in a harsh, unforgiving light. You allowed the world to be turned by fear (still). But I'm not angry with you; it is all necessary for growth, and ultimately I am thankful for these, too.

Two thousand nine, it is time for us to move on, you to the annals of history, I to the year 2010. I guess this is goodbye.

Yours truly,
s

9.27.2009

Quick - Internets!

Quick updates while I have Internet:
1. Job is still awesome. I'm working on an interesting watercolor class right now. The only problem is I can hear the teacher swallow on the video all the time, which is kind of gross.
2. Friends are still awesome. We've been going to museums, hanging out, eating and drinking, and just generally having a good time.
3. We switched Sadie to wet cat food, and she's like a whole new kitten. No more does she pee blood in the bathtub, and she actually wants to be around us most of the day instead of hiding in the closet.
4. Bank of America really owned me with five overdraft fees. They were not moved by my heartbreaking story of not being able to cancel automatic charges in time when my money ran out or by my track record of never overdrawing before.
5. C passed the first part of the CPA exam! Only three parts to go.
6. I had a bangin' party last night. It was so nice to have so many friends in one place (I think at least 30 people showed up), and my home didn't even get that messed up.
7. I have to get a colonoscopy. It's scheduled for the end of October.

9.18.2009

FYI

Just an update:
Internet at home has been really sketchy, and I'm not supposed to blog at work, so as soon as we get reliable Internet, the posts will be back in full force. Don't fret!

9.06.2009

Weird dream update

I dreamed last night that I was getting married to a guy whom I have not seen or thought about for at least ten years. He was one of the most disruptive, troublemaking students at my grade school. We were getting married and going all these places together. He acted fine and actually kind of sweet. Everyone kept asking me, though, why I was marrying him. I said I didn't know, and I didn't. I had a nice ring, but his didn't match. We got lost in the snow. That's all I remember. It made me wonder what he is doing now.

9.01.2009

RIP Cupcake

Dear Cupcake,
I am sorry to hear of your demise. Our only consolation is that you lived your brief yet joyous life alongside my wonderful friend CM. You were one of the cutest, most lovable kittens that ever walked this earth. This post is in memory of you.
Love,
s


-


Hello, this is my pink hair:



I know what you're thinking: "How unflattering." Yes, I lacked the ability to look decent today. It comes and goes. In real life, I like it. At first it was too light, but then I gave it another process, and it looks much better. The saturation in these photos does not do the real thing justice.

Tonight I went to M and V's taco party. It was yummy and fun, but I am stuffed.

Not much else going on. ED is still here but has been busy with work stuff. I'm always looking for the next big thing to happen in my life.

8.29.2009

Millions of peaches.

I went to Colorado Springs to see AW! We had a lovely time. We even made a video! She makes a lot of yummy food and has a beautiful home. She was so hospitable. We saw Balanced Rock at the Garden of the Gods.


We got free ionic detox foot baths (pictures not included per C's request). We stayed up past our bedtimes and amazed each other with our awesomeness. We went swimming. We also lurked and skulked.


I switched to Mondays off at work instead of Fridays. Other than that, it's more or less the same. I still like it.

C went camping at Lake Tahoe with his friend MB. They reportedly had a blast but also got lost on a hike. C swam out to an island in a cold lake. Bears tried to eat them, he says, but I suspect this is an exaggeration.


Last night, we saw Street Sweeper Social Club. It was hands-down one of the best shows I've ever been to. We even parked kind of close. Some pictures I took with my phone:




ED has returned from LA! But only for a little while. She's staying with me while going to some work things. She's really successful. I'm glad she is happy in LA.

CM and I went to a yoga class this morning in Berkeley at Yoga to the People. Despite my previous bad experience with yoga, this class was actually good. I would like to go again. Next time, I'll bring clothes to change into and my own mat because the one I rented got purple mat bits all over me.

I've found myself missing my pink hair lately. Four out of five people agree. So I'm going to put a small streak in it. If you're among the one in five, deal with it; it's my hair, and the older I get, the less acceptable it will be.

I'm at a weird place in my life. I feel unsure about almost everything. I kind of just want to have fun all the time and not worry about the future. I feel impulsive and energetic. I feel like I'm riding the Scrambler.

7.30.2009

Dear Mom and Dad:

I will not put you in a home when you get old.
Love,
s

6.22.2009

I miss you.

I had my first day at my new job today. I am so happy!
The pros:
- I only have to work four days a week.
- I watch videos with different educational content all day.
- Then to make sure I comprehend said videos, I transcribe, edit, code, and listen to them again.
- I take a mandatory hour-long lunch every day.
- My commute to work is ridiculously scenic.
- The chair is much more comfortable than the chairs at my old job.

The cons:
- I don't know anyone there yet.
- The headphones combined with my glasses gave me a headache. I'm going to bring different headphones tomorrow that should fix the problem.

That's it! I think I will really like it there.

I went to a bunch of social functions this weekend. I think I overdosed on socializing. Some pictures:






I was planning on going back to aikido today. I nixed that idea for several reasons. One is that I have to pay out-of-pocket for my insurance the next three months and am trying to cut down my expenses. Another is that I've sworn off my bike after today; I spent twenty minutes wrestling it onto the bike rack this evening. A third is that someone virtually said something to me that made me feel really bad about myself and my social skills, so I am embarrassed to face this person (I have a thin skin; so sue me). A fourth is that it's still far away from my new apartment and even further from my new job. :(

Did I mention that C originally found me the online posting for this new job? THANK YOU!

6.14.2009

I LOVE MY HAIR

Much better now. C and I worked on it with scissors and a razor, and now it looks pretty good!



We had a nice weekend full of sleep! I could probably sleep twelve hours a night given the chance. We watched some movies and went to a potluck, where we played some improv games. I made a homemade baguette and a kalamata olive dip. They were pretty much gone by the end of the night.

6.12.2009

I HATE MY HAIR

I hate it.


I totally feel for this kid.

I'm getting it fixed tomorrow. I will call every salon in the Bay Area if I have to in order to get an appointment tomorrow. I fixed what I could with my dull pair of haircutting scissors, so now at least it doesn't look like a droopy mullet fail. Now it just looks like a droopy bob fail. I don't understand how a request for an angled bob (slightly shorter in the back than in the front) turns into a mop that is two inches longer in the back than in the front. Maybe the hairdresser I was seeing was only good with long hair.

I am mad, if you can't tell. Especially since I paid a lot for that guy.
Once it gets into a style I actually want, I'm sure I can upkeep it. It's just molding it into that style that presents a problem for me to do. And right now, it just looks a bit too thick, a bit too flippy, and a bit too frizzy, too (but that could have just been the way I blow-dried it).

But moving on. Tonight I am home alone as C attends an A's vs. Giants game in the city. I watched CSI: Miami and played with Sadie. My appetite is practically nonexistent today.

The good news is I only have one week (five days) left at my job! Then it's on to my new one. I am looking forward to it (but only if I have a haircut that will make a good impression). Complain complain complain.

Complain to me if you want. Really. I deserve it. And I'll listen to you, I promise.

-

Oh, if you want to see our Hawaii photos, the best I can do for you is give you these links:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2027488&id=1297818869&l=09c78edc6a
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2027490&id=1297818869&l=8077638fcf

6.11.2009

Been a long, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lone-ly time.

OK, I'm sorry. I have totally neglected this blog. I've had a lot going on:

1. Landed new job with Academy of Art University. Less cushy, more purposeful. Start 6/22. Anyone want to donate to my 90-Day Insurance Fund?
2. Went to Hawaii. Helicoptered, hiked, snorkeled, swam, luaued, sunbathed, and generally enjoyed the sights and sounds of the beautiful island of Kaua'i. Pondered whether all the consonants washed overboard during the ancient Polynesians' canoe trip. I tried to upload pictures last night, but Blogger wouldn't let me. I'll give you a link to the Walgreen's photo album instead once C uploads it.
3. Got fat. Diet and exercise program on the relaunch. Maybe I'll try to keep track of it on here to add some sense of accountability.
4. Entertained numerous guests. It's nice to be at the new apartment without anyone else here.
5. Got ugly haircut. This was just today, so it might be better once I style it myself. You know how they always do it weird at the salon.
6. Started Accutane. Shut up, I know how dangerous it is, but that's why it's a last resort. And it is mine.

I think that's it. More regular updates (and possibly photos... you know, if you want) to come sometime soon.

5.22.2009

Graduation

Today is C's graduation! Finally! I wonder how long it will last and what we'll do afterward. I haven't been to a graduation since my own in high school.

The bad news is his firm is facing budget cuts, which pushes his start date back to mid-October. Bummer. I guess that means he'll just have more time to study for the CPA exam.

C's mom is in town. Fun! I think we're going to Santa Cruz this weekend. More tan? Yes, please!

I'm going to cut my hair after Hawaii, I think. I'm going to do it myself. As much as I love getting my hair done at the salon, I don't think I can justify spending close to $100 every two months. I'm going to buy a razor cutter and a pair of thinning shears, and then I should be all set to make it at least presentable.

We're all moved, but there are still a few finishing touches to put on the place before I show you pictures.

I have been having a lot of stomach problems lately. No matter what I eat, I'm always bloated and gassy. UGH. You're welcome for sharing. I need to do a little detective work. Maybe it has to do with stress.

I had a great interview with VN the other day, probably the best interview I've ever had, but I am trying not to get my hopes too high. Yes, it's basically my dream job, and at first I was really happy that they were so complimentary of me at the end of the interview, but now I'm wondering if they were just letting me down easy. But why would they have any reason to bother? My sleep last night was scarce because I was thinking about this. :( I'm supposed to hear something about the AAU job today, but I don't know what or when.

5.16.2009

update more

WE FINISHED MOVING! We even got rid of the couch. I didn't know I was so strong! Now we're just trying to unpack the random odds and ends and get them put away. I've got a serious trigger finger for that dishwasher.

I canceled our AT&T home service because now it looks like we can pretty easily get Internet in other ways.

Peaches and blueberries have made their farmer's market debut this year! MMM.

I went to a potluck/brunch on Saturday. I made Cafe Gratitude's pecan porridge, and it was the bomb! I had to open three coconuts for it, though, so that got a little messy. I added more strawberries than it probably needed, so it was very pink yet very tasty.

The weekend was hot! We took advantage of our new swimming pool. YEAH! The water is extremely cold, but it was nice in such warm weather. We went to Fort Mason with C's cousin ST and sat by the beach for a while as well. I have tan lines, and I think my hair got a bit blonder. Booyah.

Haven't taken any pictures. I feel like I can't continue with my life as normal whenever I'm in any kind of upheaval, e.g., moving. Now that we're mostly done, I feel like I can get back to everything - gym, aikido, healthy eating, etc.

5.13.2009

Quick update

Moving, moving, moving. We're at the point where random stuff is lying about and just needs to be tossed into a box and brought over.

I had that interview - and a second one already. I'm not sure of what the outcome will be.

I am totally bloated and feeling disgusting because I've been using the stress of moving as an excuse to eat like crap. No more! Moving is almost done anyway.

The weather is nice. Tonight we are sleeping at the new place because the bed is there now. We need to get all the food over still today.

Nothing else to report!

5.12.2009

On happiness.

I am so happy. SO happy right now with my life. Even though not everything is perfect, even though life is expensive, even though bad things happen to good people, I am happy. Which says a lot after so many years of being unhappy.

But sometimes I think I almost miss being unhappy, writing dreadful stories and gut-wrenching poetry about my feelings. Being unhappy drove me. Sadness and anger were excellent motivators. Now I'm content to let things just... be. It's weird. It's almost like I've lost my identity. Without sadness, I have no personality (or so I occasionally think). Who am I without a scornful lover, a self-righteous panel of hipster judges, a fascist authority figure? What will I talk about, think about, cry about without them? I don't cry much anymore, yet that's a good thing for me.

I am not angry with anyone or anything. I am not sad about life. I don't blame anyone for anything, not even myself. Well, sometimes I blame stuff on the cat. But only if she really did it.

I am smiling. I am pleasant to be around. I am even - dare I say it? - fun. I am in love. I am living in the world's most perfect place for me. I am rich. I am productive. I am stable. I am happy.

Is this what it feels like to be normal?

5.08.2009

Weekend update.

No pictures this post. I haven't really felt like snapping photos, just packing and unpacking and lifting and opening doors and loading. We got our keys!!!

Hello, new home. You are clean and lovely. No more shall coffee stains stand out on the countertops! No more shall possessions overrun the living room floor unchecked! Beautiful. We committed to a couch on Craigslist (which is in really great shape), and we've spent much of the weekend moving stuff. Clothes, shoes, small furniture, etc. We broke a chair and the nightstand, but I think we can fix them enough so that they're usable.

C was packing my shoes, and he asked me to guess how many shoes I had. I said maybe 30, tops. Nope - I have 50 shoes. Possibly more. That means at least 25 pairs. I feel guilty.

I made it to the gym Friday morning. Go me! I slept super-well Thursday night. I used a new pair of earplugs. I've got to get some more. I think 3M makes them.
I got a sunburn at lunch.

I have an interview Tuesday! More on that another time.

Tomorrow I'm having a Mother's Day Brunch with M. It's at Millennium, which is supposed to be the fanciest vegetarian restaurant ever. I've never been. I will report back.

We're watching The Wrestler. So far I have issue with how much silence there is and how they spend most of the movie shooting behind the main character.

5.07.2009

Sleepless in SF.

My sleep has been crappy again. I think it was my work anxiety. Back to the full dosage of Alteril!
We're getting ready to move, so dear C has been packing boxes while I'm at work. We get keys tomorrow. Whoohoo!

Things finally got smoothed over at work! What a weird week. I'm still applying for every new job I see, but the panic and desperation have died down.

I've been eating like crap because I've been stressed out, and I think that also may have had something to do with the sleeping problem. ALSO my earplugs are wearing out. Who knew they'd lose their ability to stick in your ears? It's like when you pinch up the tips to put them in, they no longer stay. They've lost their springiness or whatever. Can anyone point me in the direction of good earplugs that will stay good for a while?

I don't think I'm going to go to my therapist anymore. It's just gotten annoying how he doesn't remember much about me and asks me the same questions over and over. Plus I don't think going is making me feel better anymore now that I have EFT, and it's not like we're getting into issues anyway. All we do is talk about what I did that week, what I'm going to do the next week, etc.

5.04.2009

Blah blah blah.

C went to Van Morrison on Saturday at Berkeley's Greek Theater. It was a last-minute decision, and he got a great deal on his ticket. I stayed at home and read. Here are some pictures he took:



It's been rainy and gray. We went to Salvation Army and Sphere Designs to look for sectional sofas. We were not successful. I personally can't justify spending $1,000 on a couch, so I hope something appears at SA or Freecycle.

Speaking of Freecycle, what a great invention! I am having so much fun with it. I freecycled two macrobiotic books, which I alternately read and skimmed. I don't think the whole thing is for me, but there are good principles in there. I think macrobiotics emphasizes too much soy and grains for me (although I do like both), but I think sea vegetables, pickles, and the abundance of other vegetables is great. But, like, no avocados? No asparagus? No spinach? Almost no drinking water? No can do, people. They say you can be as strict or as loose as you want, but if you're not at least a little strict, what's the point? I think they have some nice complete meal ideas every once in a while, though, if you're looking to impress somebody and be healthy at the same time.

I started going to the gym in the mornings again. I've been applying for jobs like crazy. Nothing else to report.

5.01.2009

Dear Universe, I'm ready for something new.


This was me today. As much as I hate to use cliches, something happened today to be the straw that broke the camel's back. I was so, so angry and insulted.

I EFTed on hating my job in the bathroom, but I only had time for one round. Now I've cooled down a bit, but I still want to quit. I want to turn in my two weeks' notice on Monday. Never mind that I have nothing else lined up. What good is it to make money but hate 40+ waking hours per week of your life? I'll wait tables. I'll take out a loan. I'll go into credit card debt. I will get out of this job, and soon. I mean it. I'm miserable.

OK, so quitting Monday is not a good idea. But it's time for me to get a little more serious about looking, about studying for the personal training exams, about actually quitting. All the wishing and positive thoughts in the world won't help anything magically land into my lap. I have to get out there and DO something. I've decided that I'll take any job, even if it has nothing to do with my degree, in order to get out of this one.

The project I'm working on might bring in some money someday, but as it's still in its infancy, the chances of it being able to pay my bills should I quit this job right now are pretty much zero. And the freelance project I'm doing pays well, but it's not a forever thing, and I'll run out of work on that really quickly if it were to become my main focus. What I need here is another source of income. A real one.

4.30.2009

Fashion cuties and uglies.

Look! My new boots!


OK, these are vintage from Ebay, so they're not really new. CUTE! I might need to put a nonslip sole on the bottom. I haven't decided whether to polish them or not.


And these are freecycled (read: didn't cost me a penny), so they're not exactly new, either.
But they're new to me! They're OK; at least they are not full of holes like my old pair. I need to clean them and figure out what to do about this gold buckle, because it is not working for me.

Look at the hideous things American Apparel has chosen to offer this spring:


A swimsuit with a hood? WTF?



Who are you, MC Hammer during Black History Month?


I know some '80s looks are coming back, but give me a break. And the cameltoe? PUH-LEASE.


OK, I admit this is hideous, but am I wrong in thinking that it's just the right kind of ugly to be cute? It also comes in black, which is way classier.

I'm working on a new project of my own making. Only C and my mom know about it. Once it's ready to go public, there will be a huge announcement.

I put my Facebook in pirate mode. Ask me how if you want to know.

Coming home from work, I saw a guy whose beard must have been at least this long:


It was all wrapped up in some wire tube thing he must have made for it, and it wrapped around his neck and over his other shoulder. What?
I also saw some dude with a rattail! I could have sworn those died when I was in, like, second grade.

It may be judgmental of me, but sometimes I want to ask people on the street what they were thinking when they made X fashion choice. I mean, usually it's obvious when people were running late that morning or plan to change their shoes later or something, but things like these are so calculated, so deliberated, so time-consuming (especially in the beard case) that they had to have consciously chosen this look.

4.28.2009

My first EFT experience.

Don't know what EFT is? Never fear. Click here for a video.


Sounds kind of hippy-dippy, I know. But I'll try anything once, and after tonight's first rounds, I think I'll keep at it.

I decided to tap on my acne since that is the first thing I feel I need to get rid of before I can move on to the next stage of my life, whatever that is. So I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, tapping and tapping: "Even though I hate my pores for being enormous and clogging all the time, and even though I hate myself for using so many harsh techniques and picking at it and not being able to fix it, I completely and deeply love and forgive and accept myself." Etc. I did three rounds. During the process, I felt a lot of emotion build up and come out, and I was saying things that I didn't realize had anything to do with my acne, such as, "Even though I'm afraid of having good skin because I'm terrified of being living up to a standard of perfection even though I claim to want it, I deeply and completely and totally love and accept myself." Wow.
Anyway, afterward, I drank a lot of water, and then I felt like I had just finished a good cry but without all the stuffy/runny nose stuff and swollen eyes and headache. So there was definitely an emotional release. I'm not sure what, if any, physical effect it will have, but I plan to do it again tomorrow, and I'm also willing to try it on other things in my life.

If you haven't tried it, do. Read up on the tips and tricks, and give it a whirl. Worse comes to worst, you spend five minutes tops feeling like a weirdo. I'll keep you updated on anything that happens because of EFT, in case you need more motivation.
Click here to visit the blog that really turned me on to this EFT business, and read this amazing gal's story. She has great tips on everything else you can imagine as well.

4.27.2009

Weekend wrap-up

Click here for a blog that's totally AWESOME!!!

Friday we watched The Incredible Hulk and went to Siam Bay.

Saturday was Tai Sai. It was fun! Lots of food, a kyu test, and afterward a fun frisbee romp with F and CH. Today was my kyu test (6th kyu). I screwed up on blending with the strikes and a few other details, but I passed by the grace of God and my sunny disposition. So now I'm a sixth kyu, but it doesn't feel any different.

This morning I had a migraine, so I had to stay home from work today. I spent most of the day in a dark bedroom.

I'm working on a vision binder to help feel my wants into my life (concepts in Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting). Right now I am trying to define my desires in life and find photos that correlate with or represent them. The idea is to feel good about your want in itself, not to be glad about getting away from something you have now. Otherwise, because you're focusing on the negative, you would manifest more of the same or even worse. Hey, it's worth a shot.
Here are some of the images I've chosen to represent things I want:


Jillian Michaels, The Biggest Loser's trainer, represents not only the kind of body I want to have but also my personal training aspirations.


Money because I want to have enough for us to be comfortable and do the things we like.


Vegetables in a heart shape because I like vegetables and I also want to be healthy!


Jessica Stam
because I want her skin.


Last but not least, here is something I want and already have: C + me = LOVE!

This weekend we are having dedicated C&me time. I've been doing social stuff and dojo stuff the past few weekends, so we might go to Santa Cruz or just hang out around here.

4.23.2009

Grab life by the horns.

I saw a brown-and-white pigeon today. Never seen one before.


I didn't have my camera, but this is about what it looked like. I was wondering this morning why pigeons walk so much. I understand about perhaps not wanting to miss a speck of food, but if I were a pigeon, I would be much more efficient by flying low over the sidewalk from place to place.

I make a lot of lists. Always for stuff to do or get at a later time or date. Why bother? Why not just do the stuff that pops into my mind right when it shows up? Oh, that's right; because I have to hold down this job.

I started reading Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn.


What a name. She grabs stuff - challenges, opportunities, life (like Dodge) - by the horns, apparently. My colon hydrotherapist ordered it for me because she thought I needed to have it. The book is about the Law of Attraction. This idea may seem a little offensive at first. But I think it's a great thing to believe in if it helps you get what you want. This may be the key for me to have work I love, clear skin, and enough money to do whatever I want. I'm only in the first chapter, so we'll see how it unfolds.

I don't remember the last time I felt this bad about my job. It's not that something in particular happened today; I just was reminded again that I'm pretty much stuck here until at least the fall. We have to have a backup income plus a way to cut costs significantly. I've considered dumpster diving, freecycling ... anyone have any other ways (besides the obvious thrift-store stint) to get stuff for less money? I figure we'll always and forever have to pay rent and utilities. If everything else were free somehow, it would free up a lot of time to do things we like. But at the same time, I don't want to give up the things we can do now, such as go out to eat, go on vacations, etc. I'd get into investing if I didn't still owe on my student loans. The thing is, I feel pretty good and hopeful about my future but not nearly as good about my present! I guess I'm just in a mood to feel sorry for myself today.
I need to read more of that book!

4.21.2009

Adtech spoils.

CSI: Miami was not on Monday. GRR. So I went to bed earlier and woke up refreshed - again! Oh happy day.

It was another hot one, judging by the amount of people in khaki shorts and lewd old men leering at me. It's not that I have trouble accepting compliments; it's that I don't appreciate compliments with obscenities, vulgarities, or general creepiness combined with a certain look in the eyes and a special tone of voice reserved only for the bedroom. UGH.
I did get some nice compliments in addition to weirdness today, though. For this I am grateful. I must be looking as good as I feel!

Look what SW showed me. How adorable is that?! I want one. This would be much more feasible than a WALL-E.

So I'm not comfortable going completely freelance/part-time on copy editing until I have a fairly solid personal training gig and until C has begun working. Maybe I'll fast-forward my timetable to take the exams this summer. C and I can study together, except his test is the CPA.

I got a mani-pedi. It was really nice to go into air-conditioning for an hour. I love having this extra income from my freelance gig; I can pay for stuff in cash and not affect my bank account. Not that I'm spending money out the wazoo or anything.

My boss went to AdTech. Upon returning, he said, "I was going to grab some chocolate, but some guy said these were much better," and thwapped a small package on my desk. He proceeded to do the same on everyone else's desk. Do you know what was in the package?


A CONDOM.
A blue one, no less.
What?! WHAT?!?!
I have to get out of here.

4.20.2009

Feeling hot, hot, hot.

It got all the way to 1:30 today before I started sweating. Ninety degrees in the city. I wish we had that swimming pool right now!

Today's meeting was held outside. With ice cream. Provided by the boss. Like I need that temptation. I am having such job burnout. This is not where I want to be in life. Can I get paid just for being me and doing leisure activities? How can I monetize myself? Like no one else has ever wanted that before... My only idea on that front (i.e., making money from just being S) is modeling, but a) I'm far too old, and b) my skin is nowhere near good enough. Any other ideas?

Across the street from us, there was an Aptera. I don't know why it was there, but it seemed pretty cool:


Not that safe, though. Better hope you don't get rear-ended!

Last night I had such wonderful sleep! It was glorious. I actually woke up refreshed. I don't remember the last time that happened.
This evening, I gave myself a really hard workout. I was already sweaty when I got there, and it just got nasty. But now it's cooling off, so I'm comfortable for now.

I don't really have anything else to report right now. Our shows are on tonight. My challenge: to stay away from the popcorn and red wine.

4.18.2009

Beach bumming.


We finally watched Milk. I was afraid it was overhyped, but I was wrong. One of the best movies I have seen. James Franco is such a cutie.

We've been watching so much 24 that it's showing up in my dreams. Crazy!


Jack Bauer follows orders, not his conscience, but he's still a rock star in my book.

This weekend was another dojo cleanup day. I did a lot of dusting. I found a Nerf football and then hid it again for some lucky person to find because it couldn't fit in my backpack. Next week is Tai Sai, for which all this cleanup happened.

I got a new bike seatpost, and I cannot express how much of a difference it makes! I love the people at Tip Top Bike Shop; Richard not only found my seatpost but also installed it and ensured it was proper height before letting me take off. It really increased my desire to ride places and made it much more comfortable.

Saturday night, we went to Coach Sushi, which is so delicious. I always order the seaweed salad and avocado sashimi, which has avocado and sesame seeds wrapped in some sort of radish. MMM. Plus the bottomless sake, which is served in cedar boxes that you can decorate and keep there for next time.

The weather was so beautiful this weekend! What did I do to deserve such gorgeous days? We walked to Lake Merritt and fed tortillas to the ducks.
Some ducks were really tired:



Other ducks had weird stuff going on with their bones or something:


Today we went to the beach in Alameda. C read our new book on Kauai.


I laid on the sand, ate kumquats, and read the book M lent me:


It was beautiful! Perfect weather, no crowds, and I even have some tan lines now! It was such a clear day:


C edited this picture to look cool:


People like to fly kites here because it's so breezy:



There are often windsurfers, too, but not when we were there. We went early.

I saw these flowers:


I had only ever seen purple ones before, not yellow ones. It got really hot today, but I kind of like it when it is. It won't be so nice at work tomorrow, though!

I was bangin' on my to-do list today. I cleaned the bathroom, organized mail, did white laundry (the bleach pen did nothing for the black stains on my white coat, sadly), and even squeezed in a nap and a gym session! Good times.

4.16.2009

Apartment pictures.

As promised:


The view from the balcony... You could see the city if this enormous tree weren't there.




I forget what this type of window is called, but it is cool.
We are apparently allowed to have a small gas (or electric; do they even make such a thing?) grill on the balcony. I need to find out how much sunlight the area's going to get so I can decide what to grow out there. My options: basil, burdock, tomatoes, green onions, parsley, mint... I'll probably think of some more later. I hope I don't run out of room.

Everything is electric!


Closet space galore!



A door between the shower/toilet and the sink? Get out of town!


Pool (not heated)! Hot tub! Exercise machines! Sauna! Detox party at my house!



Bar! We could put stools here, but there may be some crowding with the dining set. I hope not.


I went to aikido twice in one day (Wednesday). It was my first time going to a weekday morning class, and it was awesome. I learned that my night vision is very poor and that Bakesale Betty makes cinnamon rolls at approximately 6:30 a.m. I also discovered that my flexibility decreases by about 50 percent between 6:30 p.m. and 6 a.m. But since I also went that same night, today I am feeling a little... abused? I wouldn't describe it as soreness or pulled muscles; it's more like my bones are tired. Know what I mean? I also have enormous bruises on my wrist from attempting a few measly taino henkos with K Sensei. On the plus side, I think I learned how to do it. Finally. Well, maybe.
I like it when sensei gives some kind of motivational speech about putting more energy into our techniques. Suddenly, the freshly painted walls echo with hilarious kiais. I like listening to LE's and DA's kiais most of all.

I am so over this Ani Phyo sunflower seed pate I made. I need to start making smaller quantities of stuff so I don't throw away leftovers because nowadays there's no feeling more shameful to me than that of tossing food into the trash can when so many people don't have food.
Speaking of food, I've opted to make a carrot cake for the Tai Sai potluck. I love potlucks. There's nothing better than pouring your soul into a lovely dish and sharing the fruits of your labor with your friends. I also feel good about myself when people like what I have made.

We got a book on Kauai. There are so many activities for us to do and waterfalls everywhere:


So I started to ease into running. Don't laugh. I know that every other time I have attempted such a thing, I have failed. I even quit all the sports I played in middle and high school because I hated to run. But I actually found a little program that's set up to help you do it without overworking or injuring yourself immediately as I am wont to do. It's supposed to be so good for you in many ways (if you don't already have joint problems or something) that plain old ellipticaling or biking or stair-stepping just can't parallel. Plus you can do it anywhere. So I would like to be able to do it even if I choose not to much of the time.

I went back on Lexapro, and my head feels connected to my body again. My mood, focus, and sleep are still kind of blah, but I have confidence that this will be fixed soon.

Tonight I went to M and V's house, where I watched her paint for one of her art classes. I am truly in awe of visual artists. My mother is one also. For a while, my parents thought I was one because I was drawing like a sixth-grader in third grade. However, everyone else caught up and then surpassed me. I still draw like a sixth-grader. M is very good, though. I hope someday she sells her paintings or gives me one out of the goodness of her heart. She gave me a new dress today, but I left it at her place on accident. She also let me borrow a Cousens book.