3.15.2009

ROACH WARS: vol. II


C said he spent half an hour going after this sucker. They got into the pantry now, though, so we had to empty a cupboard and caulk up the cracks. I took this opportunity to organize my myriad spices, extracts, and dried herbs. It made me want to organize the whole kitchen, but our TV shows came on.

I already got out of my routine this week. It was supposed to rain today, so I decided not to bike to aikido and instead go to the gym. Plus C and I have a date Friday to celebrate the end of his capstone class. So instead of going Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I guess I'll try to go Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday. The gym was blasting the pop-punk tonight, and it looks like they were rearranging the machines or something. I watched some girl work out with a personal trainer. If I hired a personal trainer, I would choose someone who had the kind of body I wanted. It seems like a job I would enjoy if I also got to work with the dietary aspect of it. If editing doesn't work out, I might go for a certification in personal training. I think I might have to get my biceps a little bigger, though.

Every time it rains, C's car fills up with water. It takes forever to drain, maybe three or four dry days. So naturally, his car has been full of water for a few months now - you can hear it in the doors and see it in the trunk. Today, he took everything out of the trunk to try to fix the problem. Turns out that those crazy Japanese folks over at Toyota decided to install rubber plugs - yes, PLUGS - throughout the car to prevent it from draining. This makes no sense to me, but now we won't have this problem again. The trunk will likely still get wet inside when it rains, but there won't be any standing water sloshing about and breeding mold.

We made pizza, but it looked hideous because I screwed up with the assembly. Maybe next time I'll get it right. And I made the lemon cashew cheesecake from I Am Grateful. I'd take a picture, but there's nothing spectacular about it.

I need a mani-pedi. Like, yesterday. I've let my nails get dull and my cuticles raggedy. I'll try to make an appointment for tomorrow or Thursday.

I am working on acceptance. That doesn't mean that I'll just resign and let life happen to me; rather, it means that I'll keep doing what I'm doing but without trying to control the people around me, myself, or the outcome of anything. I want just to be OK with anything that happens. I think I'm getting better at it. I'm having fewer woulda-coulda-shoulda moments. I rarely think, "I wish this wasn't the way things are." I need to accept circumstances and react to them the way they are instead of the way I wanted them to be. I need to accept other people and meet them on their own terms, revising my expectations for who they are and how I want them to behave. I need to accept myself and my shortcomings.
I would love for something just crazy to happen to me: a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity or something, anything to shake up my life and make me think. But I can't rely on outside forces for that stimulation. I need to make my own luck, as the cliche (sorry) goes. Yet I am afraid of losing the stability and security I have now. What can I do to break out of routine but still not lose what is dearest to me?

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