I made lists today. This is nothing new; I love making lists for anything and everything: to-do lists, shopping lists, lists of new music to check out. But these lists were different because they defined exactly what I wanted. I made one for the next apartment and a few others I wish to keep private. The idea is that once you really, truly define what you want in something, the universe will hear your intention and bring it to you. That or you just become more aware of what you want and subconsciously become better at getting it. So we'll see if it works. My friend M did it, and it worked to bring her soul mate to her (he fit every item on the bill), so it should work for helping find a new apartment. Perhaps my expectations are too high, but hey, it can't hurt, right?
I've been having especially weird and vivid dreams this week. Today I took two naps and had nutso dreams in both of them. One had to do with C and getting lost and a pickup baseball game (do these even exist?). One had a bunch of friends from aikido in them. Some people (Z) were normal during the day and went crazy at night, like super ninja zombies. It was weird. I went to the beach with F and L and CH, and I had way more tattoos than I do now. Then we went to a Safeway for whiskey. I think other stuff happened, but it's all hard to delineate.
C left this morning for his last spring break ever. He went home to Missouri. He will return next Wednesday.
I need to finish getting ready for Austin (leaving tomorrow). I am excited! It is supposed to be generally warm and sunny. I hope we get to go swimming.
I had my first therapy appointment in forever today. We finally identified the root cause of my problems, so that's a big step. Now the only thing is to stop thinking disparaging things about myself and to stop certain people from saying, implying, or doing things that reinforce them. Easier said than done!
I've been seeing a lot of things on Facebook about albums that shaped you/changed your life, and it made me think a lot about mine:
1. Look What I Almost Stepped in - The Vandals
2. Fevers and Mirrors - Bright Eyes
3. Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
4. Midnite Vultures - Beck
5. Good Mourning - Alkaline Trio
6. The Process of Belief - Bad Religion
7. Holding the Moment - Bane
8. Second Stage Turbine Blade - Coheed and Cambria
9. Ugly Organ - Cursive
10. Wet from Birth - The Faint
11. DUH - Lagwagon
12. The Gutter and the Garden - The Lovers
13. Absolution - Muse
14. Pretty Hate Machine - Nine Inch Nails
15. Purple Rain - Prince
16. The Shape of Punk to Come - Refused (Is this on everyone's list? It should be.)
17. The Unraveling - Rise Against
18. Heart - The Stars
19. Rituals of Life - Stretch Arm Strong
20. So Jealous - Tegan and Sara
21. Artist in the Ambulance - Thrice
22. Full Collapse - Thursday
23. Post-War - M. Ward
24. Fever to Tell - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
25. Sam's Town - The Killers
These all shaped and changed me, and not all in a good way. Look What I Almost Stepped in, for example, ironically corresponds to one of the saddest times in my life, and I have not been able to listen to it since.
These all come from my teenage years. I think it's because I was especially prone to being molded by outside forces then and not because significant albums are no longer coming out.
I would like to know yours. Here, I don't have to choose people to tag. :)