Today's Threads 1/26/10

I threw all this together on a whim and in a hurry. It's a bunch of layers that don't really go together, but I guess that's how you learn. I got this skirt a couple of weeks ago and have been dying for the rain to let up enough for me to wear it without fear of clashing with my rain boots, and today it kind of did.

Headband: Target
Dress: H&M
Bustier: Urban Outfitters
Skirt: Vintage, thrifted
Tights: American Apparel
Shoes: I honestly can't remember. These might actually be the oldest shoes I own.

'Tron Tuesday 1/26/10

Five things I think you should see on the Intertron:

1. Spare a thought for the blobfish. Not for the squeamish.

2. I think this is a great idea.We journalist types could probably do a better job than the CIA and probably demand less pay, too, don't you think? LISTEN UP, GOVERNMENT.

3. Read my college friend JG's entertaining blog, described as follows:
"A former newspaperman, Jeremy has been sucked into the fantastic, mysterious, and... dare we say it?... sexy world of the AmeriCorps NCCC program. Follow his misadventures here."

JG is among the two best writers and 10 funniest people I know personally.

4. A wedding "trailer." It's unconventional, it's audacious, but most important, it's hilarious. I wish this couple the best.

5. Do you know what I find weird? How Jon Stewart seems to be the leading politician checker. Examples:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Special Comment - Keith Olbermann's Name-Calling

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor
Health Care Crisis


The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Fright Club

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor
Health Care Crisis

I love Jon Stewart, yet I still find it unnerving that the only person asking questions like this hosts a comedy show. Keep fighting the good fight, Mr. Stewart. And call me if you ever get lonely.

Seen anything good on your Intertron lately?


Fashion Fears

Listen. Guys. We need to talk.

I have a phobia...

of shirts.


Lame, right? But I've been thinking about how I avoid wearing one. I'll layer a dress under a skirt or tuck one into pants or throw on a onesie before I'll wear a normal-length shirt.

Is it because they require too much attention to matching? I never worry about that otherwise.

Is it because my midriff feels exposed? You might be aware that I am rather tall, so shirts are almost always too short.

Is it the annoyance of having to tuck it in? If it's too short, it doesn't stay tucked in once I sit down. I'm always trying to unbunch it once it's in there.

Is it the difficulty of finding a shirt that fits? I encountered so many problems when anyone used to buy me clothing as a gift; they were under the false impression that the larger the size, the longer the shirt. This resulted in my traipsing around in veritable tents that still offered myriad bellybutton glimpses. And the sleeves on long-sleeved shirts are too short, too, but I'm gangly, as I said. When I do wear a shirt, I can never put it on and say, "Well, glad that's settled." I'm constantly pulling at it, folding the collar, adjusting the fit. It's never right. I usually end up topping it with something else, like a sweater or a vest. The shirt never gets a chance to shine.

It's all of these things, folks, in addition to the fact that I'm not so sure what constitutes a shirt anymore. There are tunics and button-downs and baby-dolls, but I can't seem to settle on a style of shirt that I like. I want it to fit like a T-shirt but look office-appropriate. Does this exist?

Some people have legitimate fashion fears. You might fear wearing a cartoony shoe like this from Alexander McQueen:

But me? I'd wear those out in a heartbeat, with a frilly petticoat and a blazer.

Or you might draw the line at wearing a life-sized parrot applique, a tiki-totem dress in bumblebee colors, or an enormous portrait of Prince a la JC de Castelbajac:

I'd go clubbin' in these. I might ditch the eye patch, though; each of these pieces is enough on its own.

Or you might think an enormous bow on your head looks... well, stupid.

I won't disagree with you, but I still try it out every once in a while.

But my beef is with shirts, one of the most ubiquitous fashions since Adam and Eve realized that being naked was boring.

The point is that I'm open to all sorts of weird fashion things and feel little to no shame, yet I am petrified by the thought of a garment most people wear day in and day out. Am I ahead of my time, opposed to the typical, or just plain weird?

You decide. While you're at it, what are your biggest fashion fears, and how do you conquer them? Go Freudian on it if you want.


Fixation Friday 1/22/10

Five objects of my obsession this week:

1. Hot chocolate with cayenne pepper.

The rain and cold has made hot drink an imperative. I'm loving homemade hot chocolate with a dash of cayenne on top.

2. Old-person candy. I remembered how much I loved certain old-person candies when I was posing a hypothetical last night. The conversation went something like this:

P: What did people do before they had floss?
S: Get gingivitis.
P: Surely they had some sort of sharpened-stick method to get stuff unstuck. I bet there were way more mouth injuries.
S: That's why they then came up with wooden teeth, obvi.
P: Wood. What a terrible material to make teeth out of.
S: Yeah, having wooden teeth would be almost as bad as having teeth made out of candy.

Point one: BEST IDEA EVER. Who wouldn't want Jolly Ranchers instead of dentures, Mounds instead of crowns, Three Musketeers instead of veneers?
Point two: If my teeth were made out of candy, a) they would only last for maybe half an hour, and b) I would want them to be made out of Werther's Originals, cinnamon disks, or some other old-person candy. P votes mints.

If you could have candy teeth, what would they be made of?

3. New York City.

AW and I are planning a trip there for June. What with Broadway, shopping, monuments, buildings, Central Park, MoMA, and Pure Food & Wine, we shan't be bored. I'm so, so excited!

Are you in NYC? Want to hang out when I get there? Holla.

4. Swimming. I started exercising again. Right now it's only rather sparingly due to my work's pool not being open until February. So until then, I'm doing it maybe once or twice a week at the North Beach Pool, which is crowded and $5 a swim. It's so nice to be back in the water! When I try to do some other form of cardio exercise, it reminds me why swimming was the only sport I stuck with for any length of time; I don't feel my sweat, and I get my heart pounding without developing a side stitch. Plus there's little possibility of spraining an ankle or crushing my knee or falling down.

5. The Barefoot Burglar

Name: Colton Harris-Moore.
Occupation: Thief, burglar, outlaw on the run
Weakness: Ordering pizzas to be delivered to the edge of the woods outside Seattle
Distinguishing characteristics: Being cute and endearing as all-get-out

Shoeless Colt's Facebook fan club calls him "Western Washington's new Jesse James (without the murders)" and "without a doubt one of the greatest and most notable outlaws to come from an otherwise boring area." He is a tall cat burglar who leaves notes and adorable photographs of himself at the site of his crimes. Dude has stolen planes and knew how to fly them from playing video games. He's quickly becoming a legend. Fascinating!

That's it for me! What's making your sun shine this week?


'Tron Tuesday 1/19/10

Five things I think you should see around the ol' Intertron:

1. LIVE PUPPYCAM!!! Warning: You might die of overexposure... to CUTENESS.

2. What to do when you can't remember whether something is recyclable.

3. You can do anything at Zombocom, anything at all. The only limit is yourself.

4. Bored? Click here for about 10 million free, easy online games you can play. Oh, and OF COURSE they are adorable.

5. Asian Conan vs. Asian Leno. It's pretty funny, but it really gets hilarious about halfway in.

P.S. I would be remiss if I did not encourage you to donate to earthquake relief in Haiti.
EDIT: After reading this article sent by a friend, I would advise to give to a charity you trust to do good work anywhere rather than just blindly texting to send money that will be earmarked for Haiti. Sure, it takes a little more thought and time, but your money will definitely go to someone who needs it, no matter where that person lives. Also worth a read is "The Dos and Don'ts of Disaster Donations."

What have you found of interest on the webz this week?


Chuck Klosterman's "23 Questions I Ask Everybody I Meet In Order To Decide If I Can Really Love Them" from "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto"

I saw this on the Facebook page of someone I don't know, and since I wanted to answer the questions but wasn't tagged, I decided to steal it and post my answers on my blog (my responses are in pink, natch, unless you're reading this via the RSS feed on my Facebook page, in which case I suggest you hit up the blog because it's way more aesthetically appealing).

1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks--he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence. Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?

Monkeys with typewriters, given infinite time, would be able to produce the collected works of Albert Einstein. Or so I've heard. So yes. 
Also having actual magic makes a person way more fun to hang out with. You could fantasize that this person could manifest absinthe or the game Twister should the party ever start dying.

2. Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that--for some reason--every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots. Would you attempt to do this?

Everyone knows I don't possess enough strength to kick through a Jell-O mold. This would be a waste of everybody's time.

3. Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can't give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler's skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical. Which option do you select?

I don't see how anyone would know it's Hitler's. Does it have a little butt-broom mustache still attached? Also does it come with a ghost? If the answers to my counter-questions are negative, I'd go with the skull; I need the money.

4. Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University announce that they have developed a so-called "super gorilla." Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, an I.Q. of almost 85, and--most notably--a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be "borderline unblockable" and would likely average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made it clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent. You are commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

The usual decision makers for the Raiders couldn't come up with a worse move, so sure.

5. You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear--for the rest of your life--sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you). Would you swallow the pill?

Am I the only person who ever liked Alice in Chains?

6. At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device of you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR. Would you still do this?

My powers of dream recall (and sharing) are already probably too good. Ask my family and closest friends.

7. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week. You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?

The proven existence of Sasquatch and the Loch Ness Moster renders all government moot.

8. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy." Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?

Trick question: You said this person was perfect.

9. A novel titled Interior Mirror is released to mammoth commercial success (despite middling reviews). However, a curious social trend emerges: Though no one can prove a direct scientific link, it appears that almost 30 percent of the people who read this book immediately become homosexual. Many of these newfound homosexuals credit the book for helping them reach this conclusion about their orientation, despite the fact that Interior Mirror is ostensibly a crime novel with no homoerotic content (and was written by a straight man). Would this phenomenon increase (or decrease) the likelihood of you reading this book?

The only phenomenon affecting my reading this book is whether it would be available at the SF Public Library. And it would be.

10. This is the opening line of Jay McInerney's Bright Lights, Big City: "You are not the kind of guy who would be in a place like this at this time of the morning." Think about that line in the context of the novel (assuming you've read it). Now go to your CD collection and find Heart's Little Queen album (assuming you own it). Listen to the opening riff to "Barracuda." Which of these two introductions is a higher form of art?

Heart's "Barracuda." Duh.

11. You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes left in the film, you are struck with an undeniable feeling of doom: You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational metaphysical sense that--somewhere--your mom has just perished. But this is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling; there is no evidence for this, and your mother has not been ill. Would you immediately exit the theater, or would you finish watching the movie?

Of course I would exit and make a bunch of phone calls (hi, Mom!).

12. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But--somehow--this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though--you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front. How much cash do you give the wizard?

I'm trying to get OUT of debt here.

13. Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly. What do you talk about?

The life, death, and musical contribution of Modest Mussorgsky, because why not?

14. For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can suddenly read at a twelfth-grade level. They can't talk and they can't write, but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do all day while they lay around the house; however, a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves). This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?

The ability to express of my hatred of Garfield is something without which I would perish. 
On an unrelated note, I think the cats would welcome this moment of escape; do working stiffs not enjoy Dilbert?

15. You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionably kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is that there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will still be a fully functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts or difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks. How do you spend the next fourteen days?

Getting hair extensions and a boob job. I need to have something to offer.

16. Someone builds an optical portal that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future (it's essentially a crystal ball that shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like in twenty years). You can only see into this portal for thirty seconds. When you finally peer into the crystal, you see yourself in a living room, two decades older than you are today. You are watching a Canadian football game, and you are extremely happy. You are wearing a CFL jersey. Your chair is surrounded by books and magazines that promote the Canadian Football League, and there are CFL pennants covering your walls. You are alone in the room, but you are gleefully muttering about historical moments in Canadian football history. It becomes clear that—for some unknown reason—you have become obsessed with Canadian football. And this future is static and absolute; no matter what you do, this future will happen. The optical portal is never wrong. This destiny cannot be changed. The next day, you are flipping through television channels and randomly come across a pre-season CFL game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Knowing your inevitable future, do you now watch it?

Depends whether CSI: Miami is on another channel.

17. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you've never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. "Be careful of that guy," you are told. "He is a man with a past." A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. "Be careful of that guy, too," he says. "He is a man with no past." Which of these two people do you trust less?

A man with no past probably doesn't know how to lie, swindle, cheat, or otherwise do untrustworthy things, unless you take a Calvinist view of humanity, which I don't. But then you barely know the guy who's telling you this. You'd probably do better to have a smoke outside and chat up the bouncer or local homeless folk trying to sell you their seven-page manifestos.

18. You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon. Which option do you select?

Europe unless there are aliens on the moon, which there aren't. Even then, you might get eaten. You'd be less likely to get eaten in Europe.

19. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don't kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can't tell them why. Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

Ghosts. Easy.

20. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as "brutally honest and relentlessly fair." Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it. Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

The second one. I would have way less liability.

21. Imagine you could go back to the age of five and relive the rest of your life, knowing everything that you know now. You will reexperience your entire adolescence with both the cognitive ability of an adult and the memories of everything you've learned form having lived your life previously. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

Hi, Mom!

22. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don't believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual. Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you?

The second one. The first one ain't illegal.

23. Consider this possibility:

a. Think about deceased TV star John Ritter.

b. Now, pretend Ritter had never become famous. Pretend he was never affected by the trappings of fame, and try to imagine what his personality would have been like.

c. Now, imagine that this person—the unfamous John Ritter—is a character in a situation comedy.

d. Now, you are also a character in this sitcom, and the unfamous John Ritter character is your sitcom father.

e. However, this sitcom is actually your real life. In other words, you are living inside a sitcom: Everything about our life is a construction, featuring the unfamous John Ritter playing himself (in the role of your TV father). But this is not a sitcom. This is your real life.

How would you feel about this?

In sitcoms, every problem gets resolved in half an hour or less, which would be a great improvement on real life. I'd take that even if my father had to be Pat Robertson.


Fixation Friday 1/15/10

Five objects of my obsession this week:


Can you say stunning? St. John is a very lucky company, and Jack White is a very lucky man. I would do anything for hair this color naturally.

2. Vegan fondue! Yes, it's possible, thanks to Jo Stepaniak's The Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook. I made the "Swizz Fondue," and I thought it tasted pretty convincing. Thus, I've added a fondue pot to my Amazon wishlist. Want to come to a fondue party at my house?

3. Trend stories, mostly because they're hil-a-ri-ous!

4. I'm not really sure what this site is all about, but it has a lot of awesome images. I can't stop clicking through it.

5. My apartment. I am in love with it now that it's all set up. It's exactly how I always imagined my bachelorette pad. I PROMISE to have pictures this weekend; it got too dark tonight after my swim before I remembered that I wanted to take some.

What's rocking your world this week and into the weekend?


Be Where You Are 1/14/10

Be where you are.

That is a mantra I think I should repeat a bit more often. I was participating in a conversation last night in which I realized I had let my brain run away after I had been able to keep it with my body most of the time for the past few months.

My mind has never been very good at being present. I frequently engineer a mental escape from my current situation, obsessing over the implications of X, Y, and Z potential events. It seems that it could stem from thoughts in my early life:
  • When I am an adult, I'll be allowed to paint my nails.
  • When I have a job, I'll be able to buy clothes.
  • When I graduate, I'll be able to start over.
  • When I move, I won't have to drive in snow.
  • etc.
I rarely found the present moment as enjoyable as my fantasies about the future. And as the chronic worrier I was, with it came creeping in the fears I had about it:
  • What if I fail out of school?
  • What if I die in an earthquake? 
  • What if I get fired?
  • What if I never get married or have children and am survived only by the lucky few of my fifty cats who didn't die in the aforementioned earthquake?
  • etc.
I think this is a lame way to go about life. Why was I spending so much time thinking about a period that didn't matter yet, when good or bad things might or might not happen, with people I might or might not know? IT MAKES NO SENSE.

In recent months (not even for a year!), however, my current situation managed to mesh with my fantasies. I felt like I was living the dream and really enjoying myself, taking things as they came and allowing the tide of the universe to pull my little boat gently along. I'm not sure how I did it:
I made several big changes in my life, professionally, personally, romantically. Maybe constant change in some small form or another is something I need.
I felt my age and allowed it to frame my perspective.
I accepted, in light of my life experience up to now, that nothing would go how I planned it, so why detail my future if I would be disappointed?
I decided life was about having the best time I can while doing minimal harm to anyone else. Is this true? I do not know, but it felt good, like I had a direction (albeit directionless).

It doesn't matter that I fell off that boat. Most of those feelings and thoughts still resonate with me, so how do I get back on it? Totally abandoning all thoughts of the future is not my goal. My goal is to have a flexible plan for my life in mind without getting so caught up in its details that my present seems trivial and aimless.

To help:

1. Map out the possibilities. A friend of mine suggested that I consider every possibility for my future that I can think of, and go through all the scenarios. In the end, I would realize (we hope) that no matter what happened in any part of my life, I would be okay. Sounds exhausting, but worth a shot.

2. OR just skip the mapping and work on self-acceptance. I am okay and will be okay in the future, no matter what happens.

3. Don't hate; appreciate. The moment is so much easier to enjoy if you are grateful for what is around you at that moment. It's easy for me to lose sight of beautiful things when it is cold and overcast and rainy as it has been in San Francisco for the past month or so. But when I make a practice out of noticing, say, the awesome view at that one intersection my morning bus takes me through, the yumminess of my orange juice, and how warm my blanket keeps me at night, my world gets an upgrade from so-so to awesome.

4. Focus. If I catch my brain careening into the future again, I pledge to make a good-faith effort to rein it back in. The occasional thought is fine, but when my mind has definitely disconnected from my body, I'll try to remember to be where I am.

I have a tendency to get lost in the past sometimes, too, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here. How do you stay present?


Today's Threads 1/13/10

Yes, another post today. Deal with it.

Blazer: vintage
Dress: Target
Belt: ModCloth
Tights: Urban Outfitters
Shoes: DSW (clearance for $10, y'all)

I couldn't decide to wear the belt outside or inside my blazer. Your thoughts?

Somebody needs to get to the gym.


I now remember why I hate my flash. I was able to make myself look a tiny bit tan in this picture, though. I also need to get a bit more creative with locations, apparently. Y'all have pretty much seen the inside of my apartment now, and I haven't even posted the official pictures.

Today's Threads: 1/12/10

It was supposed to rain today. It didn't really. But that's fine with me. What's not fine with me is the hole I got in my tights. Some people can pull off the shredded look. I prefer my legwear in solid, continuous pieces. Unless we're talking fishnets.

Necklace: Target
Shirt: H&M
Sweater: H&M
Skirt: American Apparel
Tights: Target
Boots: Zappos

This is a stupid pose, but it shows everything.

Necklace detail! The jewel pattern is rather off-center, which is probably why it was on clearance when I bought it more than 5 years ago. But I like the colors, so I've kept it.

Me and my boys. You know how we do.

Boots up-close.


'Tron Tuesday 1/12/10

Five things I think you should see on the Intertron:

2. Move your money if you can. It's a real dilemma, I know, because the big banks are everywhere. But Bank of America screwed me out of $150 for what amounted to less than $15 of overdrawing. I haven't chosen a new bank yet but plan on it.

3. The most brilliant story ever. It's going to make you LOL IRL.

4. There's something for everyone in this Beyonce/Andy Griffith mash-up:

5. This guy Jonathan deconstructs runway looks into simple mathematical equations. Sometimes hilarious, sometimes sobering, always dead-on.


Fixation Friday 1/8/10

Five objects of my obsession this week:

2. Men's shoes! Like porn for me, I swear.

3. My new Moleskine:

I thought getting an iPhone would eliminate my need for written reminders and schedules, but I was incorrect. I like seeing my week and my lists at a glance in tangible form.

4. My favorite children's book EVAR. I saw it lying on the table at a cafe and remembered how much I had loved it years ago. My favorite lines: "If you run away, I will run after you, for you are my little bunny" and "'Have a carrot,' said his mother."

5. I've been obsessing over Mika (hello, hot Freddie Mercury-George Michael love child) and this song for about a month:

So find yourself a big LAAAADAAYYY, and have a nice weekend.


Today's Threads 1/6/10

I like my new bed because I can sit on it like this. I hate how these turned out blurry. Not sure what I did wrong.

Headband: Target
Necklace: Thrift
Dress: H&M
Mood Ring: Claire's
Tights: Target
Boots: Stolen from Mom


Lucid dreams on steroids 1/6/10

Monday is my day off. At 8:30 a.m. on 1/4/10, the Ikea delivery people came, and I went back to sleep for two gripping hours.

I dreamed that I woke up in my apartment, except it wasn't much like my apartment, and a boyfriend I had in high school lived with me. That's how I knew it was a dream to begin with. Usually I can wake myself up from a dream I don't like; I just try really hard to open my eyes, and eventually they open. I couldn't do it here. I would think they were open and that I was waking up in my real bed, but I would only be waking up to another dream with the same setup as at the beginning (I wake up in an unfamiliar apartment, ex is living there and thinking I'm crazy for telling him we don't live together, etc.).

Here's when I realized I could do whatever I wanted without risking waking up as usually when I try to lucid dream, my brain's all like "Eff that, too much work." So I flew around. I punched people. I floated through walls. Intermittently I would stop and try to open my eyes again, and the whole thing would start over. My antics (and the events transpiring around me) got weirder and weirder. There were birthday parties and lynching and ice cream and 1950s and talking green beans and labyrinths and ghosts of friends who to the best of my knowledge are still alive and threesomes. Brutal, I tell you. I was panicking because I felt like I had slept long enough and should be waking up to an alarm but I was trapped in the dream so I couldn't.

So here I am being assumed like the Virgin Mary into the sky through ceilings in a multistory house and thinking I'm trapped in dreamland forever when suddenly I run into a priest. I decided it would be a good idea to tell him about my situation and ask for advice. He said:

"Scream as loud and as long as you can. Thrash about and break things with your flailing limbs. The dream will get tired of you and let you go."

I politely thanked him and continued my upward mobility until I arrived in a room with people to hear me scream and things to knock over. And that's exactly what I did.

Guess what? It worked. Trippy, man.

So if you're ever caught in a dream, just cause as much of a ruckus as you can. Your dream will get so annoyed with you that it starts to believe you're not such a catch after all and lets you go.

'Tron Tuesday 1/5/10

Five things I think you should see around the ol' Intertron:

1. Predictions for 2010 from Achewood. Guy rings haven't made the cut since Graham Kerr was fun to party with.
2. These 'wiches are INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE.
3. This post isn't actually about unicorns, but it gets super-funny at the end.
4. Amanda Simpson on why being the first sucks.
5. Why can't all politicians be like Barney Frank? Okay, they don't have to be openly gay mumblers, but otherwise:

Have a good week!



Welcome to 2010! I am happy to be here. Let's make this the best year ever, shall we? Without further ado, my resolutions:
1. To be less flaky. I've become rather unreliable lately, and I think it has to do with a lack of planning and an inability to decline invitations. So I overbook and overextend myself, and therefore I do a lot of canceling and rescheduling. And that ain't cool.
To help: I got a planner; the electronic scheduling (I'm talking to you, iPhone) just wasn't doing it for me. I also am planning for at least two personal days a week, dates with myself, if you will. That should give me ample time to recharge, get chores done, and so on.

2. To devote more time to creative projects. I've neglected my piano and left any other latent artistic talent within me completely uncultivated.
To help: I joined Flickr and am toting my camera everywhere; I want to become a better photographer and take more pictures. Many times I have wished I had taken pictures of this or that, so this can help me cut down on regrets as well. I am also trying to make the area around my keyboard more spacious and appealing by moving the bed over and attaching some lovely curtains to the adjacent bay window so that I'll want to play.

That's really it. I do need to start exercising again, but I've been meaning to do that for some time, so it's not a new endeavor on which I choose to embark the first day of the new year.

What are your resolutions? Or do you find resolutions kind of lame?