It's a bubble blower.
Its shape did not enter into my decision to purchase it. I had to have it because, as you may or may not know, I have a serious penchant for all things with Hello Kitty on them:
Since this past weekend held Memorial Day and barbecues are just asking for bubbles to be blown at them, I busted out this bad boy more than a few times. Every time, I had to field the question, "Is that a Hello Kitty dildo?"
A few things:
1. These are Hello Kitty dildos:
2. If I were putting something this large inside me, something would be seriously wrong:
3. I would not leave something like this lying on the coffee table for all guests to see as they walk in the door, and I most certainly would not bring it out of my house to an outdoor event.
My other favorite thing about this Walgreen's is that one of its cashiers is named Ulysses. I think I'm in love.