Blowing... Something, I Guess

Last week, I went to the Walgreen's across the street from my apartment in search of razor blades and cat litter. I procured the blades and on my way to the pet aisle stumbled across this:

It's a bubble blower.

Its shape did not enter into my decision to purchase it. I had to have it because, as you may or may not know, I have a serious penchant for all things with Hello Kitty on them:

Courtesy of the awesome SE.

Since this past weekend held Memorial Day and barbecues are just asking for bubbles to be blown at them, I busted out this bad boy more than a few times. Every time, I had to field the question, "Is that a Hello Kitty dildo?"

A few things:
1. These are Hello Kitty dildos:

Technically, they're vibrators, so it's perfect for when I'm fantasizing about Keroppi.

2. If I were putting something this large inside me, something would be seriously wrong:

This is my forearm. I'm 5'9.

3. I would not leave something like this lying on the coffee table for all guests to see as they walk in the door, and I most certainly would not bring it out of my house to an outdoor event.

My other favorite thing about this Walgreen's is that one of its cashiers is named Ulysses. I think I'm in love.


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