Gerbin': An Update

Ladies and gentlemen, we have had two readers step up to the plate with different but somewhat related solutions to the gerbin' problem. Anonymous (way to take credit for your part in solving the most pressing mystery of our time) says this:
The Gerbins were a group of Belgian exiles who sought refuge in Germany in the early 1920's. They formed a few small, tight knit communities in the Koln/Bonn region of North Eastern Germany, not too far from the Belgian border. Being such a small group, they had little cultural impact on the region, however they did have a minor culinary contribution which I'm actually surprised to hear mention of outside of Germany. This dish is in fact the Belgian derivative of the well known German Pancake. From what I've been able to glean from century old recipe books passed down through my family for generations, the main difference was the batter, not the preparation. While the specifics are hotly contested, it seems that the consensus was the use of Belgian brewing yeast in the batter, creating very thick and yeasty pancakes that were so light that they were not dense and heavy like their German counterparts.
Wow, I don't know how he or she knows this, but our Anonymous is a veritable wellspring of knowledge!

By way of another possible answer to this problem, KR links me to this Wikipedia article and adds, "It's just a twisted way of saying 'German pancakes.'"

The good news is we have possible answers. The bad news is... I was really hoping for something a little juicier. Perhaps we could believe that the Gerbins are a race of Belgian, inbred, half-pig, half-human gentle giants in hiding, still hunted to this day by the CDC because they're believed to have concocted the cure for the common cold out of midwifery and local herbs.

Either way, Gerbin' pancakes are a real thing. Go out and try some today! The more you know.

Those look gerbin' delicious.



Gerbin': A Treatise

I went to Inverness, California, last weekend to visit M and V. They suggested going to the Inverness Town Fair, which became my top priority after seeing this sign advertising it:

This one's going to be a rager.

In addition to the other obvious draws -- epic games and mystical magic among them -- was the promise of a "gerbin' pancake breakfast." I had to know what "gerbin'" meant. M and I practiced using it in sentences, replacing a multitude of words:
"Can I get some gerbin' water back here?"
"I'm so tired; I can't wait to get home and gerb."
"I guess we should just have some tea and gerbinate tonight."
"Let's rent Gerbinator Salvation tonight!"
"I gerb you, girl. I'm so happy to be up here gerbin' around with you."
We went to bed laughing until our sides hurt and dreaming of frolicking gerbins, whatever they are, eagerly anticipating the next morning's big reveal.

The next day, we did, in fact, attend the fair. We saw canes with fabric heads on them and baskets made of dried kelp. We looked at books about astrology, reflexology, nudity, art, and plants. We encountered a stage and a flea market, where I acquired a cornucopia basket for 50 cents. We accepted the cinnamon-sugary fried confections of which I have forgotten the name from the Hispanic ladies. We even passed the big, hulking lumberjacks who were spraying pancakes onto a griddle from some sort of batter-dropping contraption and cooking them up... but there was not a single mention of the sacred word. No signs pointing to gerbin' pancakes or a gerbin' breakfast or a gerbin' anything. We were too afraid to ask the gerbin' lumberjacks what specifically was gerbin' about the fair. We didn't want to sound like idiots; what if we had dreamed the whole thing?

We went back. We had not made it up.

This is a real thing, but why?

Naturally, I have a lot of questions:
  • Is that apostrophe for real? GerbinG
  • If so, how does one gerb?
  • Can anyone conjugate that for me?
  • If the apostrophe is a mistake or trying to be cute, is it slang for "German"? For "gerbil"?
  • Can it only be applied to breakfasts and/or pancakes?
  • If Gerbiny is a country, do you refer to its natives as Gerbese?
  • Do seeds gerbinate?
  • Is it an ancient, foreign, forgotten cuss? "Go gerb yourself!"
  • Can you get rid of gerbs by washing your hands?
I sought my old friend Google. I searched for "gerb," "gerbin," "gerbin'," "gerbing," "gerbin pancakes," "gerbin breakfast," "gerbin pancake breakfast," and all permutations and combinations thereof. Nothing.

Can you help? What do you think it means? And most important, can we bring this word into common parlance?



Goodbye, 'Tron Tuesdays

So I've slacked on this feature enough that I think it's time to call it quits. I feel a lot of pressure to round up new Internet stuff on Tuesdays, so a lot of times, I don't give it my best effort because I have -- what? a day? -- to get it all together. So from now on, I'll post Intertron round-ups whenever I feel like it. Deal with it.

But to take the sting away, here's a few goodies:

1. Gala Darling's post on Gay and Katie Hendricks, relationship experts. I'll admit I skipped the videos for the more concise written part, the Seven Relationship Principles and Magic Moves (you know I like the sound of that).

2. My new favorite Web comic. A peek:

Really small, but even more impetus for you to go check out her site.

3. I think I like to be preachy to men for some reason. Here are a few things to do right. I don't really get the Macaulay Culkin thing, but whatever. N.B., Mom, you probably don't want to read these.

And that's all I've got. I can't even follow my own rules about posting five things. So on we trudge, sporadically but freely. Expect the next post WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT.



Things I Have Ruined in the Past Month

One drinking glass: shattered
Two wine glasses: shattered
One champagne glass: shattered
A few jars: let food spoil in them

One rug: wine-stained

Four pairs of tights: got runs
A few shirts, a dress, and a hoodie: let a Sharpie pen go through the wash

My First Earthquake show at Bottom of the Hill: fell down, had to be escorted home (apparently)

I lost my balance shortly after this photo was taken.

Anything I'm forgetting?



How To Become a DJ

The title of this post is misleading. I don't know how to become a DJ.

I only want to be a DJ because yesterday I came up with the best MC name ever: DJ Hammercorn.

Why? Because of this equation:

Hammer + Unicorn = Hammercorn

In pictures:



My logo would be a white silhouette of a unicorn head with a hammer instead of a horn on a black background. Or maybe a mallet. Depends what would look best. This is the best reason I've come up with to date actually to learn Illustrator instead of just languishing my way through projects that require it in a laborious and time-consuming manner.

 Kind of like this, except less stupid-looking. And white. And a hammer. Okay, nothing like this.

I know this is the best idea ever because the Intertron says it does not exist yet.

Do you know how to be a DJ? What is your DJ name, or what would it be?