12.12.2010

My Home Is the Tenderloin.

all photos in this post from sfgate.com

So this guy wrote a post satirizing an ad campaign for a less-than-ideal living community in San Francisco, just inward from Daly City. Each ad always closed with something like, "My life is San Francisco. My home is Parkmerced." The joke here is that Parkmerced is about as far removed from San Francisco and its typical "life" as one can get within city limits: far from the main parts of the city, crowded with SFSU students, populated mostly with traffic circles. Even Excelsior is more San Francisco.

Anyway, my point here is not to hate on Parkmerced; it is instead to address what the aforementioned post lacks in its attention to what the campaign would be like if it were honest. The author creates some such slogans for other parts of the city. Some quotes:
My life is waiting 45 minutes for the M Oceanview, my home is Parkmerced

My life is being invaded by the Chinese, my home is North Beach
My life is your art school, my home is Union Square
Mi vida es gringos aburguesado mi barrio, mi casa es la Misi├│n
My life sucks, my home is Fisherman's Wharf
Unfortunately, he neglects my area of town (along with others), which I have approximated as the Tenderloin.


So I've come up with a few of my own:
  • My life is used hypodermic needles; my home is the Tenderloin.
  • My life is Korean bars; my home is the Tenderloin.
  • My life is in a shopping cart; my home is the Tenderloin.
  • My life is a liquor store on every corner; my home is the Tenderloin.
  • My life is playgrounds and strip clubs; my home is the Tenderloin.
  • My life freaks people out after dark; my home is the Tenderloin.
  • My life is an upcycled wheelchair; my home is the Tenderloin.
  • My life is the new Mission; my home is the Tenderloin.
  • My life is loud talkers on the 31; my home is the Tenderloin.
  • My life is meth and hookers; my home is the Tenderloin.
  • My life is ignored by the city; my home is the Tenderloin.

What do you think? Surprise me with suggestions for other forgotten parts of the city (Sunset, Richmond, Presidio, Excelsior, Chinatown, Nob Hill, Western Addition, Hayes Valley, Russian Hill, etc.)!

xo,
s

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous12.12.10

    My life is battling with Silver Guy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oooh, so fancy. I'm totes coming to visit you and the Tenderloin someday.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Please do. It's a magical land full of wonder, mystery, and used condoms.
    s

    ReplyDelete

Oh, you'd like to say something? Well, thanks to the relative anonymity of the Intertron, you can!